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Silk
​Alicia Krasner

O’ primal hunger
O’ primal thirst 

Budapest, 1956
Refusing the Soviets children
Coworkers slumped over benches with holes through their heads
Tapped telephone conversations
Hidden microphones’ loom, suffocating
The Danube’s middle is speech’s only haven 
When the tanks encroach the city   Corpses strewn across the streets   (again)   The disarray unbars the prison   Cargo cars’ serve deliverance   
Faith lies beyond the cut electric fences   Beyond the no man’s land grasses   Past the watchtowers and their machine gun bullets
Freedom costs my grandparents their web   They leap over the Atlantic into Canada   After Faith   Silk threads snapping    Their web only a string until they birth my father   But their triangle doesn’t last   
My grandfather dies when my father is six   Faith gallops away   My grandmother chases it down New York   Florida   California   Back in Europe    Everytime my father weaves a web, he is torn away   His mother pulls his hand until Faith winds her   She’s alone and fallen   Her doctorate a thorny laurel  
My dad sees Faith in the Oil Boom   Becomes a man that day   Pulls his mother towards Houston   Cashiering at a grocery store   A breadwinner at thirteen  Their American Dream scrappy, but at last seized   
Faith is bridled, meanwhile   But she’s unruly   She’s fickle   The halter he grips does not let him weave.

Mexico City, 1977
Life made my mother an axolotl
Her father dies when she’s fifteen   The thread that suspended her severs   It tears heart tissue from her   She’s falling   With what strands remain , she lassos herself back   The web’s still there, but now’s slack  She patches her wound
Every web has its spider   Family misunderstandings can be venom   A few years later, hers banishes her   They’ve wrapped her limb tightly in silk   Hope it squeezes sense into her   She drives to forced independence in her Beetle
She’s head of a magazine during the day   Counts pesos for tuition at night   Counts pesos for dinner   Some nights sleeps hungry   But ambition sustains her   Her limb falls off eventually but she regrows another   Raw, pink, determined   Eyes widen when they see she’s still swimming 
She’s reaccepted into the web but sirens call across the Gulf    “The Fountain of Success is in Miami   Gutsy, she hops on a plane   Her threads snap   Others strain when the boarding door shuts
Turns out success is costly   Meaningless when it’s lonely   
She tries to expand her web with new threads   But she’s a recent immigrant   Naive   She picks the threads that belong to spiders   They trap her in a silk ball   Take a bite out of her   Desert her   Her blood emptying   After her mother visits and hacks her free   She vows she’ll never anchor again to non-family   
She heals, grows back everything

Miami Beach, 2018
Progeny inherits miswisdom   
There were times I was my own parent   
I struggled to walk the quaking ground during adolescence   Desperately wanted the silk tethers to catch me if I misstepped   The famine made me desperate    But scowls met me when I confessed it
I impacted hard the ground when my feet failed   Gasped in dust   It burned me   I had to cough, purge it   Expectorated it with mucus   Feeble   I dragged myself through barren soil   As others stayed behind   Retching at my failures
But the ground still quaked   The tethers were still loose   Fed up I stood   Still dreamt of a giant web   Shiny and crystal   
I couldn’t let the famine kill me   I reassured myself that I could weave my own destiny   But protective arms intercepted
“What are you doing?!    They accosted,   “Do you want to die?   Everyone’s a disappointment until proven otherwise.” 
The protective arms belonged to scarred bare-knuckles   To footprints that I followed   
That day   They became ghastly cautions to adulthood  
So I ran to the loom   My foot on the pedal   Frantic   Fastened silk threads to my friends   Short and taut   If they left, I thought   It was my doing   But you can’t will people into staying  
 I woke and they were gone   Our woven threads cut   The web I had toiled so much on   Was the size I inherited   Small
After enough new threads   Enough restarts   Enough cuts    The dreamer inside died    
Hunger became debility in the small web   When it growled   I could only shush it   Why weave to anybody, if it’s unclear who’s inconstant?  
But my starved heart still gnawed   My neglected biology one day pounced   My breathes shallowed   I began to sink   The light dimmed   I began to lose hold 
I returned  Yet decided it was enough   I unwrapped the thread I kept close to avoid snagging   It had been a noose
The cheery stoicism I had feigned masked a coward
Was I really strong if I feared burning from the sun?   Or an embrace’s warmth?
I choose freedom   I choose to live
I’m done rationing and surviving off morsels   I deserve nourishment   
I fend off the shame the world imposes   Why should I not?   If it would run to feed me if I faced the other hunger  

Alicia Krasner (HM '26) is a Mexican American poet and engineering student whose work explores inheritance, identity, and the emotional architectures of survival.

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